Yesterday my mom was smitten with Meghan Markle’s earrings. She saw her on TV and apparently she had on a really cute pair of earrings that didn’t look like they cost too much. “I always wear the same pair of earrings every day,” she told me. “I really need to get out of my rut.” I was right there with her. I can be the queen of drab. (Black t-shirts go well with black shorts, right?)
So today we hit Kohl’s and Macy’s, determined to look as glamorous as Meghan Markle as we could. We both were looking for earrings (or clothes, or shoes or anything glitzy).
This was a real change for both of us. Because we both “are not where we want to be weight-wise” we don’t bother buying nice, trendy, flashy or dressy clothes, but stay within the safe confines of a black, basic, not too expensive or just basically boring wardrobe. Buying stuff to make yourself stand out is a no-no. At least until you lose weight. Which, for me, has been way too many years. I was ready for something princess-like!
I’ve got to stop here and say that I applaud the younger generation for not falling into that trap as much as my generation. My 20-year-old daughter talks a lot about body positivity and has shared with me the ModCloth website, which sells amazing looking clothes for women up to 4X. A big shout-out to ModCloth for making women of all sizes look beautiful! Anyway…
We had such fun shopping! But in truth the princess-like results were a disaster. Mom looked at lots of earrings but was temped to buy gold ones similar to what she always wore. I talked her out of it. She wound up with a yellow t-shirt. It’s a pretty shirt, but I couldn’t see Meghan Markle wearing it. She stayed in her conservative zone.
I on the other hand went wild and crazy, with disastrous results. First I bought a necklace that I loved. Then I tried on a dress in my size and while it zipped up easily, it looked horrible on me. At least I have a nice new necklace to wear, I thought.
I came home and tried on the necklace, ready to post pictures of how stylish I felt. But after seeing myself in the mirror with it on, I hated how it looked on me.
I was really down. I really though that this trip would give me confidence, a little glitz and an all-around boost. Instead the necklace medallion seemed bigger than my head, and looking at the pictures of me in the dress was a sad eye-opener.
But today wasn’t a total waste. It made me realize that body confidence isn’t something that you can run out and buy. We have to cultivate it over time. And we have to do it in within the confines of what we feel comfortable with. Somewhere between my worn Walmart t-shirts and the flashy red dress is right where I want to be.
So in addition to working on losing weight, I’m working on defining who I am, and looking a little better. I’m certainly not Meghan Markle. But I don’t need to be boring Barb either, regardless of my current weight.
There’s a red dress out there somewhere that will look wonderful on me!
Copyright: <a href="https://www.123rf.com/profile_jackf">jackf / 123RF Stock Photo</a>