Have you ever been so self-conscious about your weight that it held you back from enjoying life to the fullest? For me it’s more times than I can count. I picture everyone else in the world as being perfect, then there’s me.
I remember one day at my job at a small manufacturing factory, we had a couple from Germany coming in. I thought that everyone in Germany was skinny. And that they think that all Americans are overweight. Right or wrong, that’s just my impression. Imagine my surprise when the woman and her husband walked in they were the same size as me!
Another time I went to a health food store quite far from my home. It was one of these organic vegan places (which I dearly love). I called in advance just to make sure they would be open. The woman assured me that they would be there. I remember as I drove that I felt really insecure going there. But my son had an activity in the area and I needed to get lunch while I waited for him. And I really wanted to eat at this place and not just go through a drive thru. I just felt so insecure. I was sure she would be really thin. After all she worked at a trendy vegan cafe.
I found out the woman I spoke with was the owner, and she too was quite heavy. She was really super nice (which is what really matters in life anyway). She told me that she had some health issues and she found some relief with natural, vegan food. That’s why she started the restaurant. The meal I got was wonderful. I would have missed out on such a good lunch if I had cowered to my feelings of inferiority.
Another time I was invited to attend a Mary Kay party with some old friends. I used to work with the guy whose house it was at. He was always super thin and I was sure his wife would be thin too. And of course I didn’t go because I was insecure about my weight. Several months later my brother was telling me that this man’s wife recently injured her foot, and he mentioned that it probably happened because she’s a little overweight. I wish he told me she was overweight before the party, I would have gone! Again, in my mind this girl was perfect, but she was much like me. Another missed opportunity to have fun.
Sometimes it doesn’t work that way though. We moved back to Florida after being in Pennsylvania for 17 years. We visited a church one day and I sat right behind an old friend who really was very fit and looked great. We attended a women’s Bible Study for years together and she a pretty good friend of mine back then. But I didn’t say hi. My insecurity wouldn’t let me. (Maybe it’s pride, but that’s for another post.) I think she would have liked seeing me. But I didn’t like seeing myself. I bolted out the door right after the last “amen” was said and I haven’t seen her since. Looking back, that’s really sad.
The truth is nobody’s judging me except myself.
We are so much more than our body size. No matter where we are in our weight-loss journey, we have so much to give to others. Yes, we want to lose weight for a variety of reasons. But let’s remember that our true worth and value is what’s on the inside of us.
Starting today I’m going to walk in confidence, even if I have to do it in a pair of size 20 pants.