I remember one day at playgroup, one of the other stay-at-home mom’s showed up wearing a pretty top and a pair of gauze pants. Several mom’s asked her where she was going. Why was she so dressed up? She downplayed it, saying that is was just a beach outfit. But she really did look pretty.
Stay-at-home moms seemed to have an unwritten rule about dressing sloppily. At least we did when my kids were little. There was even such a thing as “mom clothes.” Unfair as it seems, dressing nicely when all you do is watch your kids seemed taboo.
Now that my kids are grown, I’ve transferred that mindset into being overweight. Look pretty when I’m a size 18? No way. When I get down to a 14, then I’ll dress a little nicer.
But today something happened.
I was looking for something to put on after I worked out in the evening. If I have to take the dog or the trash out, I want to look respectable. I came across a cute sundress shoved in the back of my closet. This will work, I thought. I tried it on and was glad to see that it fit.
But then I thought, why not wear it all day today? I always shower in the morning, and put on my “fat clothes.” I try to do it up nicely, but it’s never anything cute or different. Stretchy shorts. A t-shirt. Comfy shoes.
Wear a sundress on a normal day when I’m not going anywhere special? Unheard of.
So today I went out in my size 18 sundress. Usually it’s reserved for church, but I never wear it there either. Things have gotten so casual everywhere that my fat clothes pretty much fit the bill no matter where I’m going.
But today I wanted to look pretty. Or at least feel pretty. No matter what size I am. At first I felt a little self conscious. What will people think of me? I’m not hiding behind my baggy black clothes. But after running a few errands I totally forgot about standing out. Not to mention how comfortable I felt in a cool, summery sundress.
I deserve that, and you do too.
I’m learning not to care about what people think and focusing on how I feel. For too long I practically worshipped skinny people and skinny clothes. They were the goal. And yes, I’m working on losing weight and being healthier. But I need to work on feeling good now too. And today I succeeded at that.
If someone does happen to ask me why I’m all dressed up, I’ll probably use the “beach dress” excuse too. But I’ll know better. It just makes me feel good about myself.
Copyright: <a href="https://www.123rf.com/profile_rawpixel">rawpixel / 123RF Stock Photo</a>